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Joke of the Day

"Everybody thinks Australians are laid back until one of us is standing over you with a chainsaw asking you to pronounce Aluminium correctly."

"Columbus thought he landed in the Far East. But he landed in the Far West by occident."

"I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman... I went to a bookstore and asked the saleswoman, ""Where's the self-help section?"" She said if she told me, it would defeat the purpose."

"What has holes in it, and travels down an alley? Batman: my parents?? Riddler: no its a bowling ball! I-im so sorry!"

"I understand feminism My wife gets to decide what she cooks for me!"

"If I were Lex Luther, I'd just send Superman a bunch of gift certificates to Taco Bell and let him do my work for me."

"Why would no one listen to the percussion section? Because they couldn't drum up enough support."

"My kid is singing ""Mac-n-cheese"" to the tune of ""Stand by Me."" You guys just tried it, didn't you?"

"I like finger painting. I once painted a finger... on my finger, it was really good, no one could tell"

"What pop star has the biggest nipples? Areola Grande"