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Joke of the Day

"Once you've seen one shopping centre... You've seen the mall."

"I like the word ""panties"" so much I'm going to start using it in place of ""cool."" Friend: Check out my new car! Me: Oh man, that's panties."

"Why did the arsonist get kicked off the basketball team? He kept getting pyro-technicalities."

"Q: Where do books sleep? A: Under their covers."

"A guy just yelled at me for texting and driving. I told him to get off my hood and mind his own business."

"Daddy is the government going to keep us safe from terrorists? No son, they're busy protecting us from drugs and home made clocks."

"When I see a kid on a leash I assume they were a dog turned into a kid by a witch & the owners have yet to figure out how to turn them back."

"I'm a Poet... and I didn't even realise until just then."

"A man stormed into my barbershop, claiming he'd gotten fleas from coming here... So I checked. Just as I suspected, it was all lice."

"My narcissistic friend just became an organ donor... because ""who wouldn't want a piece of this body?"""