70011

Joke of the Day

"My narcissistic friend just became an organ donor... because ""who wouldn't want a piece of this body?"""

"Why are there no awards for excellence in betas? Because no one wants to be the master beta tester."

"When does a joke become a dad joke? When the punchline becomes apparent! (Credit to the first dad who said this) EDIT: I fucked up the joke, thanks /u/Daviddddddd"

"What idiot called it ""the clap"" and not ""dishonorable discharge?"""

"PMS jokes aren't funny PERIOD."

"What's the difference between a week-old human and a weak, old human? About eighty years"

"A police officer found two kids walking the streets. One had a battery and the other had a firecracker. He charged one and let the other one off"

"Two Irish men walk into a bar... You would have thought at least one of them would have seen it."

"[dog wedding] [Bride throws bouquet into crowd] [Groom catches it, gives it back to Bride] [Bride throws bouquet again] [Groom catches.."

"My mom's (one ethnicity) & my dad's (another)... So I guess you could say that makes me a (shitty, lazy comedian!)"""