159355

Joke of the Day

"Noticed a spider while I was driving,so I did what any normal person would do and carefully trapped it in a napkin and set my car on fire."

"What happened to the man running in front of the car? He got tired. What happened to the man running behind the car? He got exhausted."

"did you hear about the miners' new album? i really dig it"

"I like my politicians like I like my coffee. I don't like coffee."

"Why can't anxious people walk on tight ropes? Because they're too high-strung. Corny I know, but I wrote it myself and had to put it out there."

"BAE: come over ME: we live together im sitting right here BAE: my parents arent home ME: what is wrong with you"

"What do fat girls do in the summertime? Stink."

"wife: Why is 9 crying? me: Because it's raining and he's getting wet wife: But we're at a water park me *takes a drink from my flask* Yep"

"[office] Me: Happy Black Friday! Latisha: ... Me: I made a cake! Latisha: ... Me: ... Latisha: ... Me: ... Latisha: ... Me: It's chocolate."

"I'd also tell you a joke about how my balls hang. . . But that's too low."