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Joke of the Day

"[office] Me: Happy Black Friday! Latisha: ... Me: I made a cake! Latisha: ... Me: ... Latisha: ... Me: ... Latisha: ... Me: It's chocolate."

"My Asian girlfriend told me there's nothing wrong with having a little penis. I still wish she didn't have one, though..."

"An alarm clock that texts your boss for you the fifth time you press snooze"

"Real women have curves!!! Real women have spirals!!! Real women are plump and covered in a creamy sauce wait nope thinkin of pasta"

"Her: Where ya been? Me: At the cemetery. Her: Someone dead? Me: Yeah. All of them."

"What do you call a jewish Pokemon trainer? Ash."

"How do you disappoint a pack of redditors? [removed]"

"Why does everyone make fun of Batmans old suit, the one with the nipples? Bats have nipples. Hell, that's the most sensitive part of a bat."

"Who the hell called them deadbeat dads instead of negli-gents?"

"Cop: You doin drugs? ""No"" Cop: Whatya smokin? ""Pot"" Cop: THATS DOING DRUGS ""Ohh I thought you meant like [whispers] having sex with drugs"""