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Joke of the Day

"Yelp review: Excellent food, friendly service. That said, I did notice a smudge on a window and was forced to set the building on fire"

"People say you never see ninjas but I see their girlfriends hanging around mosques all the damn time."

"I think it's time I remind you all that spoons are just tiny bowls with very long handles."

"ME: [screaming into the void] THE VOID: please untag me from this thread"

"Why was the magnet seeing the Psychiatrist? Because it was bipolar."

"What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole ? A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree !"

"*Walking with wife listening to Dust In The Wind* Me: This is our song. *A dude walks by listening to it* Me: That's OUR song! GIVE IT BACK!"

"I accidentally pushed 2 for Spanish and the operator spoke perfect, fluent English"

"What did Hugh Hefner say when he got to heaven? meh"

"A sloth was robbed by 2 turtles Sloth robbed by 2 turtles. Cop asks if he could describe the assailants. Sloth replies, ""It all happened so fast."""