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Joke of the Day

"What do you get if you cross a dog with a blind mole ? A dog that keeps barking up the wrong tree !"

"What happened to the guy who grabbed the Viagra instead of the Allegra? ...he had a hard time with his allergies"

"Don't ever look away from a police officer. Just stare him down. You don't wanna look suspicious."

"McDonalds just started their Monopoly game again with an increased 1 in 4 chance of winning a prize/obesity/explosive diarrhea!"

"Girl, are you pre-Renaissance art? Because you need to get some perspective."

"Wrapping gifts and one kid has more than the other so to even it up I hope she likes this bag of potatoes."

"What is the difference between a Texan and a redneck? Texans tend to ride horses whereas rednecks ride their cousins. -American Sniper"

"Charles Dickens walks into a bar... and orders a martini. The bartender asks ""olive 'er twist?"""

"I can't stand lactose intolerant people who work at ice cream parlors. They can dish it out but they can't take it."

"The first rule of Rule Club is that we talk about the rules. A lot."