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Joke of the Day

"I think it's time I remind you all that spoons are just tiny bowls with very long handles."

"A leopard can carry something twice its weight into a tree and a cougar can carry something half her age to bed."

"For my birthday I'm going somewhere with no internet access. Pretty sure this will involve time travel and possibly dinosaurs."

"What's wrong with the sentence ""Jack and Jill is playing in the field?"" Women should be first."

"What do you call a horse that has been kicked out of his house? Unstable"

"Why are female schoolteachers always so angry? They have periods every half hour!"

"Thought of starting an origami business but too lazy to do all the paperwork involved."

"TIL why windows skipped a number going from Windows 8.1 to Windows 10 Because 7 8 9"

"I'm pretty sure Morgan Freeman was narrating while the universe was being created"

"Witness: I saw the defendant stabbing the victim. Lawyer: Objection! Witness is ugly! Judge: Sustained. Jury will disregard the statement."