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Joke of the Day

"ME: [screaming into the void] THE VOID: please untag me from this thread"

"NSFW - Two dildos are in a drawer... One of them sighs. So the other asks, ""Soft day at work?"""

"What do you call a drummer in a three piece suit? The Da-da-defendant."

"I got the early bird special at Denny's. Don't do it, these worms taste like shit."

"What did the retires baker say to the Dough on the table? I don't knead you anymore."

"The war on Christmas? Yeah, I started it. But in my defense, maybe Santa warns a person before his home invasion and I don't take him out."

"Someone asked me if I like fish balls. I don't know, I've never attended one."

"I'm working on a new adult film loosely based on ""Two girls, one cup"" but with a bondage theme... It's called ""I shit, you knot."""

"THREE LAWS OF SCIENCE: 1. IF IT SMELLS BAD IT'S CHEMISTRY 2. IF ITS MUSHY IT'S BIOLOGY 3.IF IT DOESNT WORK ITS PHYSICS"

"Worst case scenario for the 'coin behind the ear' trick is finding a tumour there and being accused of dark magic."