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Joke of the Day

"What do electricians get for Christmas? Shorts!"

"If you were stranded on an island and could bring three items what would you bring? Michael Phelps, a saddle, and stick with a gold medal on the end."

"I was thinking of telling you guys a gay joke. Butt fuck it..."

"it's gotta be as much fun for a slinky to go down an escalator as it is for a human to walk on a treadmill"

"Microsoft tech support called me last night as a indian, I said ""Sorry your calling Indian Tech Support"""

"My 6yo daughter's teacher just gave me a ""Most Improved Ponytail"" award."

"Thank you, student loans, for helping me get through college. I don't think I can ever repay you."

"What do Comcast and a bunch of ferrets named Jenny have in common? They're both a pretty shitty business."

"I wish life was like a bad hand of spades No Trumps . . . . . . . . . ...I'll see myself out."

"Interviewer: ""So, where do you see yourself in 5 years?"" Me: ""My biggest weakness? Probably not listening properly."""