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Joke of the Day

"What do Comcast and a bunch of ferrets named Jenny have in common? They're both a pretty shitty business."

"What is the difference between the Cleveland Browns and Santa...... Santa is still relevent in december"

"Ask me if I'm a tomato"

"What do you call a group that has gotten nothing done since the 90s The UN"

"Why couldn't the candle get any sleep? Because there's no rest for the wicked."

"What's the difference between a seal and a sealion? An electron"

"Q: Know how to solve the Serbian/Bosnian problem in less than 48 hours? A: Put Janet Reno in charge."

"When talking to a girl, their boobs are like the sun... You can't look at them for very long unless you have sunglasses"

"Girls say I'm an animal in bed. More specifically a koala. I can sleep for 22 hours in a row."

"I really wish my coworker would stop asking me so many god damn work related questions while I'm staring at my phone"