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Joke of the Day

"My girlfriend is kind of like Pandora. Everyone once and a while I just have to let it know I'm still listening even though its all just noise at this point."

"Where is the most extravagant brothel in Switzerland, with the most expensive hookers? The FIFA headquarters."

"My 5 year old set up the lemonade stand all by himself and, while I'm proud of him, I doubt he'll make a lot of sales in the backyard."

"Q: Whats the difference between a 90s woman and a - computer? A: A 90s woman won't accept a three-and-a-half-inch floppy."

"Why do lesbians shop at sports authority? Because the don't like dicks."

"What do you call it when Oxygen and Nitrogen train at the gym together? Air conditioning"

"Yo' mamma is so dumb.... ... She put a ruler on the side of her bed to see how long she slept."

"Why did the blonde librarian sleep with a famous musician? She wanted a first edition of Moby's Dick."

"Polish bank robber tied up the safe, blew the guard."

"Bought my dad a pair of Crocs for his birthday, then pushed him down a flight of stairs for looking stupid in them."