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Joke of the Day

"I just read the ""100 things to do before you die"" list.... I'm kinda surprised that ""call 911"" didn't make the cut."

"Commentator just said that the rain ""may just be the tears of a heartbroken nation,"" which shows a fundamental misunderstanding of rain."

"Why do black people have such big dicks? So they have something to play with on christmas. -inappropriate, but i think its funny."

"ME: *pulling up my pants* What's the prognosis, Doc? DOCTOR: You've got cancer. ME: WHAT?! DOCTOR: Haha. Jk. I'm not a doctor."

"Why can't a nose be 12 inches long? Because then it would be a foot."

"Why don't you ever see hippopotamus hiding in trees? Because they are really good at it."

"I gave my Chinese friend some sweets yesterday He said ""these are haribo!"" Well if you don't like them don't eat them mate."

"You'd think Goldilocks would have been all like, ""Damn, it smells like bears in here. Is that a family portrait of bears?! I should leave."""

"Did you hear the one about the old man at the doctor? Man: I can't pee, doc! Doctor: How old are you? Man: I'm 90 years old. Doctor: Oh, you've peed enough! Heard this one in a bathroom at Walmart."

"What's the difference between a married guy and a single guy? Wait, let me ask and make sure it's ok to tell the joke."