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Joke of the Day

"Commentator just said that the rain ""may just be the tears of a heartbroken nation,"" which shows a fundamental misunderstanding of rain."

"China's rise is terrifying: look at this list of casualties from Chinese military interventions over the last three decades http://i.imgur.com/WFsyTn8.png"

"I was talking to my ex and she got the wrong end of the stick. The end that had been sharpened to a fine point."

"Look, lady, you can either be disappointed that I have an average penis, or excited that I have a GIGANTIC micropenis."

"A dog is ironing shirts and cursing under it's breath: ""What a fool I was! Bring me the slippers, my ass!""."

"What do Pink Floyd and Princess Diana have in common? Both of their last big hits were The Wall."

"I don't trust stairs... They look like they're up to something."

"[Olympic Swimming] CANADIAN ANNOUNCER: I feel bad for the water look how hard they're kicking it."

"Why was the Trail of Tears so hard on the Native Americans? It's not easy to hike a trail when you're always falling down drunk."

"What didn't the Japanese understand nuclear missile technology? It was a little over their heads"