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Joke of the Day

"I gave my Chinese friend some sweets yesterday He said ""these are haribo!"" Well if you don't like them don't eat them mate."

"so a dyslexic man........ walks into a bra"

"What do you call somebody who pretends to play on a player piano? A Penis"

"The problem with the rest of the world is that they are always 5 drinks behind."

"Wanna expand my polynomial?"

"X-post from r/jokes: Mommy! I found a $10 bill today, but I threw it away, cus it was fake. ""Oh, how did you know it was fake?"" ""It had two zeroes instead of one."""

"My friend just just dumped a funeral director she was dating. She said he was a real stiff."

"Why are vegans so salty? To hide the fact that their food has no flavor."

"No, I'm not addicted to taking batteries out of clocks. I can stop at any time I want."

"A while back I was walking through the woods and found a body... He must have gotten stuck in a bear trap or something. I never told anyone about it but I came back about a week later and he was dead."