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Joke of the Day
"Did you hear about the cannibal who went vegetarian? He couldn't stop eating swedes."
Next Joke
"Her: I really want nachos!! Me: *changes name to nachos*"
"I bet Bram Stoker is sitting on some cloud, flipping through the Twilight books with a raised eyebrow, wondering what the hell happened."
"I want to tell a Moses joke... but I haven't chosen one."
"Women love it when you emit three high pitched squawks, inflate your expandable throat pouch, and then dart back and forth between trees."
"How does a boat captain determine his profit? By using aquadratic equation. (Via my coworker)"
"Why does Trump want to build a great wall? China has one and they don't have many Mexicans"
"""Mind control agents in chem trails sounds crazy? That's EXACTLY what the govt wants"" Bride: I shouldn't have let you write your own vows"
"My rock band got a gig at the baseball game. I played first bass."
"No one in the Star Trek universe knows how to tie a neck tie. They're all use to Klingons."