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Joke of the Day

"Women love it when you emit three high pitched squawks, inflate your expandable throat pouch, and then dart back and forth between trees."

"It's called a ""remote"" because those are your odds of finding it when you want to change the channel."

"Just because I can't spell Armygeddan..... Doesn't mean its the end of the world...."

"Wanna heare a joke about potassium? K"

"Where does Dracula keep his valuables? In a blood bank."

"What do you call a bear that will fuck anything? Bi Polar"

"My grandma is very conservative. It would break her heart if she knew I was bi -partisan."

"So a woman walks out of a doctor's office and she stops at the door, looks back at the doctor and says : - What was it again ? Sagittarius, Capricorn ? - No ma'am, CANCER !"

"The Device Too Big To Fail I Renamed my iPod The Titanic, so when I plug it in, it says, ""The Titanic is syncing."""

"Two snakes meet in the jungle... Two snakes meet in the jungle. One asks the other: ""Are we poisonous?? "" The other says: ""Why do you ask?"" The first replys: ""I just bit my tongue..."""