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Joke of the Day

"I bet Bram Stoker is sitting on some cloud, flipping through the Twilight books with a raised eyebrow, wondering what the hell happened."

"First grade teacher asks student what the plural of horse is ""Pregnant whores?"""

"Ancient Chinese proverb: man who go to bed with itchy bottom, wake up with smelly finger."

"Confucius say... Man who go to bed with sex in mind, wake up with solution in hand."

"The kid next door just challenged me to a water fight, so I thought I'd tweet this while I wait for the water to boil..."

"I don't know when but there was a moment in my life when food changed from friend to lover."

"Elderly woman ahead of me at Subway is paying for her lunch with nickels and now I don't even give a shit about health care reform."

"I love linguistics Its the only class where I can talk about vowel movements."

"Why did the man drink two beers with his lunch? Because he wanted to drink two beers with his lunch."

"How do you make people lose faith in this sub? This."