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Joke of the Day

"My browser asks ""are you sure?"" when I clear my history as if theres anyone more sure of what theyre doing than someone clearing his history"

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"My friend asks ""what is long hard and full of seamen"" random female says ""definitely not your dick."""
"How many potatoes does it take to kill an Irishman? None!"
"When an elevator stops at your floor, a nice thing to do is to hug the person next to you and say, ""This was fun. Let's keep in touch."""
"What's 50 Cent's new name? 50 Drachma."
"Boy-Girl Boy: The principal is so dumb! Girl: Do you know who I am? Boy: No... Girl: I am the principal's daughter! Boy: Do you know who I am? Girl: No... Boy: Good! *walks away*"
"My favorite sitcom episode is the one where there's a huge misunderstanding."
"To much precaution... Two security guards obtained me at the airport after they opened my luggage and found some IcyHot patches, they said: I was packing heat."
"Idea for a podcast: Friends hang out together and have deep and meaningful discussions and nobody records it and it's not a podcast."
"Dream carefully, because dreams come true."