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Joke of the Day

"Idea for a podcast: Friends hang out together and have deep and meaningful discussions and nobody records it and it's not a podcast."

"Your momma is so fat... But I still fucked her."

"With great power comes a great electric bill."

"How much cocaine can a smuggler sneak into prison? a buttload."

"Not now ex-boyfriend. Someone favorited 2 of my tweets. I'm a huge deal around there now & you lost your chance. Just kidding. What time?"

"[girlfriend yelling] You have an unhealthy attachment to your pets with weird names! [she knocks over my dead hamster's shrine] GILGAMESH!"

"What is worse than biting through an apple, and finding a worm inside? ~~Rape~~ The picky fuckers on this website."

"Mr Clause caught Mrs Clause cheating on him. What a ho ho ho."

"What rhymes with computer? No it doesn't..."

"You guys ever hear the one about the man who ran naked through the church? They caught him by the organ."