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Joke of the Day

"Why are there no knock knock jokes about America? Because freedom rings."

"Him: What? You said I could tie you up and do anything I want. Me: WELL WHERE THE HELL HAVE YOU BEEN? Him: Fishing"

"Do cannibals prefer red or white wine with dinner? They're not fussed, as long as it's full bodied."

"midterms and finals are like prayers to god. i never get answers."

"On the Hot Wheels isle helping a friend pick out a sweet Corvette that she promised her 18yo for graduation. Life's all about the wording."

"I once knew a dyslexic priest He always said ""woof"" instead of ""amen""."

"Knock knock who's there Jo Jo who? Jo moms!"

"I saw an image of Jesus in my breakfast burrito. I asked myself, what would Jesus do? And so I ate him. Two hours later... Holy Shit!"

"A little girl was next in line. 'My name's Curtain' she said. 'I hope your first name is not Agnate ?' 'No it's velvet !'"

"Men and women CAN be just friends. But only if one of them is ugly."