28314

Joke of the Day

"A little girl was next in line. 'My name's Curtain' she said. 'I hope your first name is not Agnate ?' 'No it's velvet !'"

"Enough is Enough! No like seriously they're the same word."

"I've easily spent 12% of my life chuckling at my own jokes and being grossed out by my own body. Also, I like random percentages."

"How many bronze players do you need to change a lightbulb? None. They can't climb the ladder."

"Postman told me he was going on holidays.... I asked him if it was Parcelona or Istampbul he was headed to... Just said it was a stag do for his friend Ah, an all mail party I exclaimed"

"Why do Jews hate soda? Because they're gassy"

"My mother talks into the phone like a combat soldier calling in air support."

"Birth Control My wife and I had seven kids. We tried using birth control pills, but they kept falling out."

"At my funeral play the Super Mario original theme until my casket is lowered in the ground then play the underground music"

"What did the chemist say when he found 2 isotopes of helium? HeHe"