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Joke of the Day

"On the Hot Wheels isle helping a friend pick out a sweet Corvette that she promised her 18yo for graduation. Life's all about the wording."

"'LSD makes users lose weight' That makes sense, it's kinda hard to get to the fridge when there's a dragon guarding it."

"What do you call the urinal section of the bathroom? The place where all the dicks hang out."

"Did you hear about that new car made entirely from wood? It's crazy! Wooden wheels, wooden windows, wooden engine... Wooden move."

"I'm good friends with 25 letters of the alphabet... I don't know Y."

"""Oh is it by the Starbucks?"" Um... everything's by a Starbucks"

"First the engagement ring, then the wedding ring, then the suffering"

"i dont refer to my fans as fans. i call them friends. anyway i'll buy one ceiling friend & two oscilatimg desk friends. now i hav 10 friends"

"I can never decide whether to slam on my breaks or go through a yellow light, so I do an annoying combination."

"I love posting spam. Although, I've been warned again by the Royal Mail not to mail bits of meat in the post."