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Joke of the Day

"I gave blood this week and felt great afterwards... Which is weird because when girls lose that much blood they just get bitchy."

"Q:What do you get when you cross a snake and a kangaroo? A:('A jump rope')"""

"Facial scrubs with bits of fruit in them are a pretty big ""fuck you!"" to third world countries."

"Saw my ex... Please. She needs to die."

"What does a shaved otter look like? Odder... Sorry"

"#MarriedPeopleIssues You hang up.. No, you hang up... You hang up.... Noooo, you hang up. They're your clothes. I'm not your maid."

"How do you know when it's okay to swim in a pool of milk? When it's past your eyes."

"Why does Hillary Clinton have two Ls in her first name? 1 for 2008, 1 for 2016"

"Why isn't there democracy in North Korea? Because everytime they try to pronounce ""election"" everyone starts to giggle"

"If sex were fast food, you'd have and M-shaped arch over your head."