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Joke of the Day

"Facial scrubs with bits of fruit in them are a pretty big ""fuck you!"" to third world countries."

"Punchline Challenge: ""And by the way, you've got a lovely home!"" What's the setup ?"

"""Oh my god! That guy's dead! Oh wait, he's totally fine."" (someone watching soccer for the first time)"

"Why do some people think Jesus was black? Cause he is our father, and he never came back."

"I hate it when auto-correct changes my ""omg"" to ""OMG"" like, chill out, I'm not that surprised."

"[Ghost describing stalker to sketch artist] ""He was a yellow circle with a demonic mouth."" *holds up drawing of Pac-Man* *sobs* THAT'S HIM!"

"My dad got fired for having sex with one of his patients the other day. Which is a shame because he was a really good vet."

"Have you seen 'Wears My Penis? Ooops, typo. Have you seen where my pen is?"

"Milliband, Clegg and Farage have quit. Proof that the Conservatives are forcing people out of work."

"How can you tell the Indians were here in America first? They had reservations."