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Joke of the Day
"I just quite my job at the helium factory. I won't be spoken to in that tone."
Next Joke
"What did the Giant say after he ate Tonga? 'I want Samoa!'"
"There once was a man from Peru Whose limerick was three lines too few."
"Accidentally left creatine out on the counter overnight and there's a bigass 3"" tall ant in my kitchen calling me bro now... scared to go in"
"Her: Let's each pick one person we can sleep with and the other person can't get mad. Mine is Ryan Gosling. Who's yours? Me: The babysitter"
"I bought shoes from a drug dealer.. I don't know what he laced em with but I've been tripping all day......!"
"What do you call it when a crow throws a party and no one shows up? An attempted murder."
"Scientology has spaceships?! Crazy! I'll stick to my guy who parted the sea with his mind."
"I pulled a girl in a nightclub last night. She said ""What the fuck are you doing"" and walked back out."
"I would tell your a chemistry joke But all the good ones argon"