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Joke of the Day

"How Many Hipsters Does it Take to Screw in a Lightbulb? A: You probably wouldn't know, it's some really obscure number..."

"I think you are amayonazing! I'd take it as a condiment."

"6 things should be common in a Girl and Tea. Should be hot. should be strong. should be sweet. adequate milk. should be ready in 5 minutes. And lastly, won't let you sleep whole night :)"

"People thought I was crazy when I said I was going to cure blindness. But they'll see. They'll all see!"

"Next time you order coffee at Starbucks tell them your name is Bueller and then leave the store."

"Did you hear that Rene Descartes accidentally committed suicide? He just wasn't thinking."

"The titanic is all like... ""I nominate all my passengers for the ice bucket challenge"""

"A horse walks into a bar. The bartender says, ""GET OUT OF MY BAR, YOU FUCKING HORSE!"""

"and on the 8th day god created drugs and everybody was like ""thanks god you're the shit"""

"when i'm stressed i close my eyes and imagine i'm on a beach, neurotically pacing back & forth within a very small section of that beach"