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Joke of the Day

"Scientology has spaceships?! Crazy! I'll stick to my guy who parted the sea with his mind."

"The weather is so hot that it gave me the wrong phone number."

"I'm not saying the Internet lies, but there is an alarming discrepancy in the number of iPads I've won and the number that I actually own."

"Girl: do you have a condom? Me: c'mon what's the worst that could happen *hears a knock on the door 4: daddy I think I started a fire"

"I said to my Doctor, ""I've become a can of deodorant."" He said, ""Are you sure?"" I replied, ""No, I'm Lynx."""

"What's the difference between Bono and God? God doesn't go around thinking he's Bono."

"My friend asked if I could help him write a bedtime story for his kids. I thought ""what a novel idea""."

"Yo mama's so dumb, she stuck a phone up her ass and thought she was making a booty call!"

"What do you call a country ruled by dank memes? Kappatalism"

"What does a nosey pepper do? Gets jalapeno business :D Edit: Sorry, I'm not sorry"