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Joke of the Day

"Let's agree that if we're both not married in ten years we'll sew our cats together to make one big SuperCat."

"Doctor Doctor I can't stop singing Delilah Oh that sounds like Tom Jones syndrome Is it common It's not unusual."

"What's a fat kids favorite musical instrument? The lunch bell!"

"What do you call a road full of giraffes? Giraffic."

"*helps wife get toddler in his high chair* wife: That's a new shirt, let's put a bib on you me [wearing a bib] This is ridiculous"

"How do Russians watch online movies? Nyetflix!"

"Have you heard the rumor going around about butter? Never mind. I shouldn't spread it."

"I saw on Facebook my ex wanted to get into water sports I recommended waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay"

"What came first? The chicken or the egg? Humans' ability to classify living organisms."

"What's a good motto for a sewage treatment plant? Our duty is clear. Credit: Futurama"