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Joke of the Day

"What came first? The chicken or the egg? Humans' ability to classify living organisms."

"Why did all the potato chips but one jump off the cliff? He was a Wise Potato Chip."

"Her: OMG! You didn't feed my cat while I was away? Me: Do you remember that time you didn't harvest my crops on FarmVille? Now we're even."

"I was gonna put on my cowboy hat and sit on my patio shirtless to showcase my abs when I realized I don't own a cowboy hat, a patio, or abs."

"How did the explorer react when the which doctor turned him into a miniature ballsack? He was a little testie! Bump dump pshhh!"

"When someone says ""women like you"" to me, I assume they're referring to extremely powerful wizards."

"I am a hiring manager. Before I take a look at all the resumes, I throw the entire top half away. If you're going to be working for me, you also have to be lucky."

"I told my friends this story about an orca... It was a killer whale of a time"

"A Mexican, a Jew, and a black guy walk into a bar The bartender looks at them and says ""get the fuck outta here"""

"When was the last time the Indians were the champions? Before Columbus came."