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Joke of the Day

"I saw on Facebook my ex wanted to get into water sports I recommended waterboarding at Guantanamo Bay"

"There was a black out in my neighborhood last night. The police told us to stay inside until they shot him."

"Two flies are sitting on a steaming pile of horse manure. One of the flies grunts and breaks wind. The other fly says, ""Geez! Do you mind? I""m trying to eat over here!"""

"*tries for a year to brush and floss better* *goes to dentist* Dentist: Do you even own a toothbrush?"

"I was really missing school But I collected myself, took a few deep breaths, focused, reloaded my gun, and started nailing the little bastards."

"Enemas make shit happen. No seriously."

"Whats brown and rhymes with Snoop? Poop"

"Son: I'm gay, dad. Dad: no I'm gay dad Dad #2: no I'm gay dad"

"How does North Korea only have four medals so far? We're the best at everything. We even fed our athletes this time."

"My cat is recovering from... a massive stroke."