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Joke of the Day

"Im tired of chasing people who wont chase me... from today on the ice cream man can go fuck himself."

"Amazing how easily that guy scaled Trump Tower. Thank God u can't get suction cups in Mexico cause then wall idea would be really stupid."

"What's the difference between the US and Russian Presidents? US presidents get shot while Russian presidents take shots."

"Earth was the first world I created. It has all kinds of problems. #firstworldproblems"

"The only time my wife will ever scream ""Deeper, deeper!""... Is when they are lowering my casket into the ground."

"I texted her ""Thankin bout ur butt"" I don't know how much more romantic you can be"

"Whats the difference between a washing machine and a woman? A washing machine doesn't follow you around after you dump a load in it."

"What do you call a female mushroom who happens to be a killjoy? antifungal"

"""We will, we will paper you!"" - Band that's more awesome than Queen"

"How do you catch a green elephant? Paint him red and catch him with the red elephant trap."