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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between the US and Russian Presidents? US presidents get shot while Russian presidents take shots."

"2017 won't be all bad For the few people living just the right distance away from the nuclear strikes,the radiation will cure their cancer."

"i was about to smoke a joint in the park but then i saw a sign that said ""keep off the grass"" and felt judged."

"Knock knock. Whose there? 9/11 9/11 who? You said you'd never forget!"

"Well well well, if isn't the girl who gave me cooties in third grade..."

"What's another name for dick pics? Junk mail!"

"Why do they call them ""country bumpkins""? Because in the country, you bump your kin!"

"""Two birds with one stone, how about all the birds"" God thinks, hurling an asteroid toward Earth"

"I put the short word in the slightly longer word."

"Before I go out binge drinking I always eat a stick of butter. It doesn't do anything I just make really poor life choices."