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Joke of the Day

"What do you call an angry white elephant that likes crushing donkeys and darker elephants? Donald Trunk."

"[Christopher Nolan on the set of Batman Begins] Great Batman voice, Christian! Terrific stuff! [aside] maybe Batman shouldn't talk"

"Q. What do most men consider a gourmet restaurant? A. Any place without a drive-up window."

"Nowadays People know the price of everything, But the value of nothing."

"Have you heard about the new movie, ""Constipation""? It hasn't come out yet."

"What did the retarded chef say after watching terminator PASTA LA VISTA HAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *TAKES OFF ALL HIS CLOTHES AND RUBS HIS NIPPLES*"

"We're probably like 10 years away from ppl running for president strictly for more Twitter followers"

"At least we know the people who killed the 5 cops in Texas weren't terrorists Because Muslims can't kill pigs. I'm going to hell"

"The best part about Puppy Bowl? Since all the puppies are already neutered, there's no worry about deflated balls giving one team an advantage..."

"Was watching a fetish video and it cut to the guy at the last second I think I got off on the wrong foot."