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Joke of the Day

"What did the retarded chef say after watching terminator PASTA LA VISTA HAHAHAAHAHAHAHHAHAAHAHHAAHHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA *TAKES OFF ALL HIS CLOTHES AND RUBS HIS NIPPLES*"

"I changed my iPod's name to ""The Titanic"". It's synching."

"Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss... but you won't miss. You've trained your whole life for this. Take the shot. Kill the moon."

"Machine uprising? Ha! What can they do? Toaster gonna burn my bagel? Vending machine gonna steal my money? Like they do now... Holy shit."

"What's a man idea of helping with the housework? Lifting his legs so you can vacuum."

"My favorite pickup line.... Hey, smell this... does this smell like chloroform?"

"England can't win anything. Brazil took away their top spot of Most Embarrassing team."

"Hey guys, wanna hear a joke? Reddit servers."

"Two men walk in to a bar... Which is really stupid because the second one should've seen it coming."

"how many tickles does it take to make an octopus laugh? ten tickles"