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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Did your parents help you with these homework problems? Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself!"

"""""When I die, I'd like you to lower the coffin into the grave... ... so you can let me down one last time."""

"Where did the man with an undecorated yard put his spare change? His Hedge Fund."

"How many dubstep fans does it take to wash a car? One hundred and one. Two to wash it, one to dry it, and ninety eight to talk about how dirty it was."

"What's the favorite letter of the National Socialist Party? Anyone before the last one actually. Because they are all not Zs."

"What's the difference between you and mallard with a cold? One's a sick dick, and I can't remember how it ends, but your mother is a whore. -SNL reruns-"

"What's the difference between Dubai and Abu Dhabi? Dubai doesn't like the flintstones, but the people of Abu Dhabi doo"

"What do you call a black man that flies an airplane? A pilot, you racist!"

"The inventor of predictive text has died. His funfair will be hello on Sundial."

"What's the difference between love, true love and showing off? Spit, swallow, gargle."