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Joke of the Day

"Teacher: Did your parents help you with these homework problems? Pupil: No I got them all wrong by myself!"

"I love the way the Earth rotates. It really makes my day."

"i formally apologize to anyone who knew me when i was 13"

"Schools are reporting a massive jump in average ACT scores. On a completely unrelated note, the amount of black students taking the ACT is at a all time low."

"Did you hear about the LEGO truck that crashed on the highway? Authorities are still trying to piece everything together..."

"Woman: ""I'm a sucker for a man in a suit and tie."" Man: ""You had me at 'I'm a sucker'."""

"Missing LSD tablets Hey Gran, you haven't seen my tablets, they're labelled LSD. Gran: Fuck your tablets, have you seen the dragons in the kitchen!"

"Question ? Do old lesbians try to look like Rod Stewart or does Rod Stewart try to look like an old lesbian?"

"my abacus is super trustworthy i can always count on it"

"Jokes on you hot chick at the bar who gave me a radio station's phone number I just won Harlem Globetrotter tickets and a Bud Light poncho."