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Joke of the Day

"Woman: ""I'm a sucker for a man in a suit and tie."" Man: ""You had me at 'I'm a sucker'."""

"I once stayed up all night trying to figure out where the sun went Then it dawned on me."

"What is more dangerous than a polar bear? A bi-polar bear."

"When I asked for my wife's hand in marriage, I didn't realize how often I'd just get the finger."

"Him: my name is Robert but my friends call me Bob, you can call me whatever you like. Me: Cool, nice to meet you Nachos."

"Why are there no casinos in Africa? There are too many cheetahs."

"Why was the password a bad attorney? [OC] He was case sensitive!"

"I didn't feel right so I went to the doctor. He only takes one look at me and says, ""Well son, I'm afraid you're going to have to stop masturbating."" ""Why?"" I asked. ""So I can examine you."""

"My grandma is very conservative. It would break her heart if she knew I was bi -partisan."

"When I lost my rifle, the Army charged me $85 That's why in the Navy, the captain goes down with the ship EDIT: Didn't excpect to get this many upvotes. Thanks!"