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Joke of the Day

"What did the psychiatrist say to the man who walked into his office wearing nothing but saran wrap? I can clearly see you're nuts."

"What's the difference between a condom and the congress? You can only fit one dick inside a condom."

"What does Bill Cosby do when he can't sleep at night? He finishes her drink EDIT: Apparently this is Conan's joke, so all credit goes to him. I just heard it from a friend of mine and I had no idea."

"What do you call a secret agent running for the bus? A Russian spy."

"I have a UPS joke Sorry it was delivered it to your landlord's off property leasing office ten miles down the road."

"My aquarium is missing quite a few parts #nofilter"

"Tree men walk into a bar They order root beer and leaf before paying."

"I heard netflix is going to start putting ads in the middle of shows Netflix and shill"

"What do you call a gay philosopher? Pyfagoras"

"A cop stops an electron for speeding. He says ""Did you know you were going 100 mph?"" ""Great"", says the electron, ""now I'm lost!"""