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Joke of the Day

"No child donuts left behind."

"WIFE: I can't believe you slept with my twin thinking it was me ME: Cut me some slack he was wearing your perfume"

"I was very upset at the funeral the other day. I started wailing and moaning and banging on the coffin In the end they opened it and let me out."

"I worked as a programmer for autocorrect but the fried me for no raisin #PunYourJob"

"Dad: There's no use crying over spilled milk son. Me: But dad it was tequila! Dad: What!? *cries immensely*"

"My therapist said I have multiple personalities and rage issues so we hit him..."

"What do you call cows that don't have a sense of humor? Feminists."

"What's the best time to go to the dentist? At toothhurty."

"How do You Tell if a Woman is a Feminist If the boring clothes, weight problem, lack of makeup or angry demeanour doesn't give it away, she'll tell you within 2 minutes."

"Walked into a very expensive restaurant, sat down, was handed a menu. Comic Sans. Got up and left. Life is hard."