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Joke of the Day

"What's the best time to go to the dentist? At toothhurty."

"Sometimes it seems like I'm married to my own liver I only abuse it when I'm drinking"

"I just read that Stevie Wonder is filing for divorce. I guess in the end, they just didn't share the same views!"

"Does anyone remember Gotye? Now he's just somebody that we used to know"

"Me: ""Knock knock"" , Jesus: ""I'm not in!"" ... Me: ""Oh, come on."" Jesus: ""I refuse to open the door."""

"Why do mushmelons always have traditional marriages? Because they cantaloupe."

"Pansexuality is the best... fuck the rest."

"Psychic buys clothing Employee: How about this one? Psychic: That shirt is too small Employee: You didn't even try it on Psychic: I'm a medium"

"...how is life in North Korea? I can't complain."

"My ex-girlfriend got a parakeet, and that damn thing never shut up... but the bird was cool."