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Joke of the Day

"In Italy, they call me Olive Oil Its because im extra virgin. :("

"What do you call a penis and a potato on a boats? A dictatorship!"

"I'm starting a mirror cleaning business. Its a job I can really see myself doing!!"

"What did the leper say to the prostitute? you can keep the tip."

"Why do baby birds love Amy Schumer's comedy? They can't handle anything that hasn't been consumed and regurgitated."

"What did they find in the toilet of the Starship Enterprise? The Captain's Log."

"It's crazy how my ex was so upset about losing me that he had to build a life with a new woman."

"The Dali Lama walks into a Pizza store He says, ""make me one with everything"""

"Its not drinking alone if the highway patrol has informed you they're calling for back up."

"Entering Area 51 US soldier: - Sir, this is secret teritory and you don't have permission to... - me - Where the fuck are you running, Pikachu?!"