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Joke of the Day

"Sweaters aren't the only garment named after a gross bodily function... There's wind breakers, too"

"Women like to claim that they are equal to men... Women like to claim that they are equal to men, but women have never successfully oppressed and entire gender."

"What do you call a bull that runs into a threshing machine? Hamburger!"

"Marijuana? More like MOURNrijuana, because you're parents will have to go to your funeral if you try it. #no"

"How many homophobes does it take to screw in a lightbulb? None. They don't accept change, even if it means a brighter world."

"Did you see the new clock porno? It's about fucking time."

"Tis the season to kidnap a tree, hold it hostage, keep it from its family during the holidays, then leave it for dead."

"Few things are as consistently weird as the guy/girl handshake."

"Why was the comedian with bad-ended jokes unpopular? Because everytime he told a joke people fainted in the end."

"I don't like anti jokes... I like uncle jokes"