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Joke of the Day

"Marijuana? More like MOURNrijuana, because you're parents will have to go to your funeral if you try it. #no"

"Oh, you said floppy DISK. *pulls pants back up* Yeah, I don't know what that is."

"Did you hear about the guy who landed in the hospital after shoving 8 plastic toy horses in his butt? His condition is stable."

"What do you call a kid with an eyepatch and no limbs? Names."

"""It's a boy! "" Frank exclaimed. ""It's a boy!"" And he never visited Bangkok ever again."

"Why do women rub their eyes when they get up in the morning? They don't have balls to scratch!"

"My colleague can no longer attend next weeks Innuendo Seminar so I have to fill her slot instead."

"If you know how many calories are in your donut, you're not eating it right."

"Good news everyone! I've found another person who's voice you can hear in your head when reading one single phrase.... AND HIS NAME IS JOHN CENA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!"

"What did 1 volcano say to another volcano? That ash."