38335

Joke of the Day

"I don't like anti jokes... I like uncle jokes"

"Every photo taken inside my house has at least one laundry basket in the background."

"What do you call it when two well endowed astrophysicists have a gay sword fight? A Large Hardon Collider."

"What do vampire footballers have at half-time? Blood oranges."

"I don't watch World Cup soccer. If I wanted to see grown men struggle to score for 90 minutes I'd go to a bar."

"My cat was bitten by a squirrel and I have to suck the rabies out before she slips into a double cheese burger. --how I cancel dates"

"The best place to have a third nipple is on the palm of your hand so when you shake hands with someone you can sue for sexual harassment."

"I'm an atheist but if lightning struck Trump during his victory speech I'd become a monk."

"What should you do when life gives you melons? Get tested for dyslexia."

"A good date ends with dinner. An excellent date ends with breakfast."