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Joke of the Day

"Why was the comedian with bad-ended jokes unpopular? Because everytime he told a joke people fainted in the end."

"I like my women like I like my fields..... fertile and full of my seed"

"They say you are what you eat, but I don't remember eating a massive disappointment."

"Guy to a friend, ""I just got a new job"" Friend ""oh yeah doing what?"" Guy ""fucking your mom, it's got good health benefits"""

"Tried to make jokes on this plane about the other passengers' carryon bags, but they went over their heads"

"Silly Rabbit, Trix are for a culture of entitled white American children who are systematically fed a diet of high fructose corn syrup."

"BEST vine with nigga - chocolate milk https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6JZfR4PwIbs"

"Kylo Ren: I can't read your mind! How are you resisting me?! Rey: Occlumency lessons from Professor Snape."

"I think my photographer friend is secretly in the Air Force. He keeps asking if he can use a drone to take aerial shots at my wedding."

"Q: Why are orchestra intermissions only twenty minutes long? A: So the violists don't need to be retrained."