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Joke of the Day

"Missus and I splitting. I blame her new job. Ever since she started at EA, our definitions of ""exclusive"" have really diverged."

"If Apple Saudi Arabia made a Wrestling Game, it would be called... iSlam."

"Women should not have children after 35. Really ... 35 children are enough."

"At a live orchestra, and lightening strikes, who gets hit first? The Conductor"

"What's an avocado's favorite music? Guac N' Roll"

"Why are men typically smarter than women? They come across more things."

"Dad, was I a cocky teenager? Only when you watched Baywatch in your pyjam.... DAAAD!"

"You can run, but you can't hide. Unless you're a chameleon with broken legs. Then you can hide, but you can't run..."

"I always yell ""I'm not masturbating!"" when someone knocks on my office door so they know I'm not masturbating."

"I told you I'm busy! Who are you going to believe, me or the last 20 tweets I posted?"