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Joke of the Day

"Missus and I splitting. I blame her new job. Ever since she started at EA, our definitions of ""exclusive"" have really diverged."

"Im not sure who named the Gregorian calender ,probably some guy called Greg. Or Ian."

"What do you call a lesbian with long finger nails? *Single*."

"The Worst Joke Ever What kind of jokes do farmers tell? CORNY JOKES!!!"

"What has 4 wheels and flies? /u/IDrewTheDuckBlue's car. [Credit.] (https://www.reddit.com/r/Showerthoughts/comments/3ez4sp/just_drove_from_california_to_illinois_with_a_fly/)"

"I once thought about write a book, but quit before I even started. It was a novel idea."

"Never trust a ""Bernie"" to manage your finances... The last one I knew Madoff with all my money."

"9 out of 10 doctors reccommend for children to drink water instead of soda that 1 doctor lives in flint michigan"

"Woman at drive-thru just called me ""honey."" Headed home to tell my wife to take a god damn hike."

"So Mario is talking to Luigi. ""So I breka up with tha princess last night. But I told her, it's a not you, it's a me! Mario!"""