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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a black person flying a plane? A pilot.. you racist bastard!"
Next Joke
"What's the Al-Qaeda's favourite sports team? The New York Jets ( )"
"Why did the angry Jedi cross the road? To get to the Dark Side."
"5 years ago, I asked this beautiful woman if she would go to dinner with me. Last spring, I asked her to be my wife. Both times she said no."
"[iphone vibrates] 3yo: daddy someone is texting you [landline phone rings] 3yo: what is that sound?"
"""911"" you gotta help, my wife is in labour in the backseat ""how far apart are the contractions?"" about 2 miles but I'm driving pretty fast"
"If the Hulk worked in the produce section of Kroger... would he be a Green Grocer?"
"Chuck Norris can do a roundhouse kick faster than the speed of light. This means that if you turn on a light switch, you will be dead before the lightbulb turns on."
"Look, if crying doesn't solve the problem, then maybe I'm just not the person you should be asking."
"It's only a problem if others know about it.... *Sweeps problems under rug*"