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Joke of the Day

"Women should not have children after 35. Really ... 35 children are enough."

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"You can tuck a carrot into bed , but it won't know what you are doing because he's a carrot"
"Knock knock. Who's there? Smell mop."
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"Why did Barty Crouch Jr. quit drinking? Because it was making him moody."
"A man told me that he wasn't constipated I think he's full of shit."
"Tried to make a video seductively licking the frosting from an Oreo, but got excited and ate the whole thing. Twenty times."
"Hi Operator, Can you connect me to Steph Curry? Operator: Just dial 739 Guy: I did but there's no Ring"
"Like a good neighbor, StateFarm is..."
"Whars long ha nuts on either sude and has an asshole around the corner The hallway in the mental hospital i just I just escaped"