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Joke of the Day

"What's an avocado's favorite music? Guac N' Roll"

"You probably didn't hear about the power outage in New York City... I think the news should have shed more light on it."

"Actually saw two young people talking today. Parents must have grounded them from their phones."

"The doctor told my wife her cervix is still really hard last night. How would the doctor know that without sticking her whole hand......omg"

"If Sean Lock was a Hollywood actor... ... He'd be Robert Frowny Jr. - Jimmy Carr"

"Me: WOW. Look at those legs! Her: Thank you. M: They'd look great around my neck! H: Hey! M: Wish I'd brought my saw. H: WHAT?!? M: Nothing."

"Why don't people raid dodo nests anymore? Because their eggs stinked!"

"What do a Feminist and a Hockey Player have in common? They both change their pads after three periods."

"Why do sharks swim in salt water? Because pepper water makes them sneeze!"

"I live with my wife in a two story house... ""I'm too tired"" and ""I have a headache"" are the only two stories I hear..."