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Joke of the Day
"The awkward moment when you remember something but you don't know if it was real or just a dream."
Next Joke
"Batman's an example of a guy who took his parents double homicide and made lemonade"
"Teens are like the Magic 8ball of humans, they think they have all the answers & you want to shake them because what they said was stupid."
"What can a whole apple do that half an apple can't do? It can look round."
"I'm smart. Just not remembers how to write a cursive Z, smart."
"""Sir, we are mining too many useless ores"" *Hitler rubs chin* So mine less [Grammar Nazi busts in] ""MINE FEWER"" [Hitler looks up] Yes?"
"My dad worked on a car assembly line for 40 years. He retired years ago but still struggles with post pneumatic press disorder."
"""Have you tried putting balogna in it?"" ~me, as a marriage counselor"
"Why David shorted his surname to Hoff? Because it was too much Hassel"
"Dear Karma: I don't understand, he hasn't been mauled by a lion yet. XO, Me"